New Zealand is officially in recession after losing all blacks for the second time in a row

Wendell Hussey | Cadet | a call

Jacinda Ardern greeted the people of New Zealand today with a sobering message, declaring that the nation is now officially in recession.

The Prime Minister announced this morning after the All Blacks lost for the second time in a row over the weekend, which has been a grim two months.

“After this performance against the French on Sunday morning, the country has now slipped into economic decline,” Ardern explained.

Traditionally, the working definition of a recession is two consecutive quarters of negative economic growth as measured by a country’s gross domestic product.

However, New Zealand can be declared stagnant even after two consecutive negative results for the All Blacks.

It happened last weekend when the All Blacks doubled their 29-20 defeat to the Irish with a 40-25 defeat to the French.

Now, the economy of our neighbors is in a state of collapse.

The two defeats came after the All Blacks surprisingly started their Northern Hemisphere tour, beating European powers, Italy and the US team.

Nine months before the next international rugby test, local economists have urged Prime Minister Ardern to consider shifting money on major stimulus packages to get things moving again.

“The economy needs a massive injection to correct the severe recession caused by AB’s loss,” the Auckland economist said today.

“Whether it’s a common room or an extra room in an Auckland hospital, Cinda has to try to open the money chains to make noise in the economy.”

Otherwise we will have to sell at least 3 or 4 heads of cattle to China.

Prime Minister Ardern has yet to reveal what measures will be taken, with locals hoping tomorrow’s press conference will bring better news.